New York

In New York, concrete jungle where dreams are made of there's nothing you can't do, now you're in New York, these streets will make you feel brand new, big lights will inspire you, let's hear it for New York

Last night I dreamt i was living in New York, and I woke up with the above lyrics running through my head.

I dreamt I was working for Saturday Night Live. I didn't really get how big it was that I was working for Saturday Night Live. It's like, yeah, I got in, whatever.

I felt a little bored with it. I was walking there with someone else, maybe Tina Fey, and was just like, eh. Another day at work. Here we go.

It seemed I was watching myself as an outside observer, because as I watched myself go into Rockefeller Plaza, I felt so excited for me. Oh my gosh, I thought, can't you see this is a step in the right direction! Everybody starts at this point! How great!

The self that was living it in the dream, though, was frustrated. Sketches I was presenting were getting picked, but it was so easy, no challenge. But nothing seemed to be happening for me outside of Saturday Night Live - it's like, I got here, I thought I had to get here, but my career is not taking off. W. T. F??? Like so many other comedians before, I got to this point where I thought everything was just going to magically happen. But it doesn't anymore. You go to SNL and still have to make your own way. Nothing just "happens" for anyone. We all have to make our own way.

I woke up feeling both encouraged and discouraged; like, maybe the things I think in life aren't helping me might be doing more good than I realize, as well as, I shouldn't put too much emphasis on outside sources for producing my work. Or, to worry about location. Just because I'm living in Chicago, or New York, or Montreal for that matter does not affect my ability to do my creative endeavors. Only I do.

That's it for today. Thanks for listening.