The One

I dreamt I was meeting my best friend from high school out for dinner.

It was an outdoor patio of a modest but nice restaurant, it felt like a smaller town, not the Big City that I currently live in.

I knew that I was meeting her as well as another guy friend for dinner. The guy friend - the one in the dream does not exist in waking life; or at least, not in my current knowledge base.

I am the last to arrive at the table, and I am pleased to see S is there. Ah, S. I have been enamored of S since the moment I met him seven years ago. We have a mutual attraction; but we've never dated. Either he was with someone or I was with someone.

We are both single now. I think - I know I am. His facebook status says he is, but who knows. The only hold up at this point - in my mind, it's my current weight. There is no way he'd love me the way I look currently. At least, that's my belief. And it's probably somewhat true. At least, I would have a really hard time believing he could love me at my current weight. Shouldn't think that way. But I do.

In the dream, I was still heavy, but not as much as I weigh now. More like 180, which gets me back down into the line j u s t into the healthy weight range; still "overweight," but leaning towards healthy. Thin enough where I again believe it possible for a man to want to be with me.

So, S is at the table, too. I was not expecting him - our mutual guy friend invited him to dinner with us. I sit down, we order, and dinner begins.

We are, all of us, getting along like nothing before. S and I still have the same chemistry we alwyas did. My best friend and the guy friend in the dream are secretly exchanging glances - they were hoping S and I would remember how good we are together. It was proving to be true.

Dinner ends and we are going somewhere else. We all get into a little tiny stick-shift car, like a little european car. The four of us are in this vehicle, and we are going up a very steep hill. The car struggles with the weight of us - or rather, to me, it's under the excess weight of me. I am embarrassed to be such a burden on the group. No one says this, but I feel that it must be so. Somehow, I know S thinks this. But, he does not mind. I am horrified at the experience. As I look around, no one else seems bothered a bit. I am surprised.

We arrive at the top of the hill to our destination: a mini-golf place slash bowling alley. I am excited - we are doing something chotchky and fun and phsyical together as a group! I love it! I am really excited to be here, I am really excited to be with S. I feel something has reignited between us. We are a little shy with each other in the dream, but I feel like it's moving in the right direction. There is a point in the dream where the guy friend asks how I'm doing. I answer: "I'm. exhuberant." In the dream, I know that S takes that to mean it's about seeing him. It is. I feel happy and that all is right with the world.